Alien: Covenant

  • It’s great to see my second favorite movie monster, the “Xenomorph” (that’s the name of the actual “alien” for those unfamiliar) again, even if it is for a short time.
  • The orchestral score by Jed Kurzel is very good.
  • And so’s the cinematography by Dariusz Wolski.
  • Hey, Guy Pearce!
  • There are a few sequences in this movie that are absolutely terrific.
  • But…
  • The plot / story line of the actual movie feels quite unfocused and scenes drag in attempt to hammer blatant points, and one of those attempts in particular had me swallowed in disbelief by how self-indulgent, pretentious and egotistical it was.
  • Speaking of dragging, the pace of the movie is very slow for the entire first hour, then ZIPS through the last.
  • I began to fall asleep within the first half hour of the movie, and I HARDLY fall asleep during movies in the theater (no comment on seeing movies at home).
  • This movie is a sequel to the movie Prometheus, which was a prequel to the entire Alien franchise, and that Alien franchise has never been one to cop to cheap jokes that demeans it’s characters. In Prometheus, there’s a bong joke. In this movie, there’s a cheap sequence that feels so out of place, I felt like I was watching one of those shitty 80’s slasher movies that had shitty characters making really shitty decisions.
  • There was one sequence that was so silly, it made me question the entire purpose and direction of the film.
  • Also, if both Prometheus and Alien: Covenant take place BEFORE Alien, ALIENS, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection, then why is the technology of the past better and more advanced? Speaking of advancement, how are the androids and Xenomorphs themselves more advanced than the ones the in the future?
  • If you don’t like movie blood, then don’t see this. It’s the goriest of all the movies.
  • Towards the end of the movie I started thinking: How many Ridley Scott directed movies have I actually seen and of those, how many do I actually like? The answer to the first question is seven. The man has directed 40 films and I’ve only seen seven. But how many of them did I actually enjoy? ONE. And that was Hannibal, the Silence of the Lambs sequel that I only saw once when it came out in the theater SIXTEEN YEARS AGO. Taking that film out, I’ve seen the other major Ridley Scott films: Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, and Prometheus. Why don’t I like the movies? The answer is simple: the characters that he oversees are characters I just don’t care for. Maybe a little care was given towards Maximus in Gladiator, but I feel like his movies are very cold and emotionally disconnected. Sure, people can talk about introducing Ripley in Alien, but Ripley did not become the ICONIC, WARM-HEARTED BADASS that everyone loves until the sequel ALIENS, which was written and directed by James “Titanic” Cameron. Ridley Scott gives me nothing to connect to, and no one to root for.
  • It’s a good thing I had a free ticket.
  • Final Letter Grade: D+

    Jose Zuazua is editor-in-chief of Quick Lunch Break Reviews. He has an associates degree in film production. He’s on twitter (twitter.com/josezuazua) and instagram (instagram.com/josezuazua).

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